"Muffin" is just another word for cake, which is why they are SO GOOD.

Mark and I complement each other so well in many ways, but we are totally incompatible when it comes to sleep, specifically bedtimes and waking hours. I have to wheedle and cajole to get him to stay up until 10 at night, and he is up and out by 7 am during the week, and usually before 8 on weekends. I have ridiculous insomnia, so I am usually up until 12, and sleep until at least 7 during the week, hopefully longer on weekends -- and that's on a good night. If I go to bed at 10 with Mark, I almost always wake up around 3 or 4 and end up getting up to read or watch tv. HATE.

On Saturday morning, Mark was awake early, of course, and started bugging me to wake me up around 7:30, despite the strict "Do Not Disturb Before 8" rule in place on weekends. He was talking about being hungry, wanting breakfast, what could he eat, etc. (He's actually not an annoying small child; I am just an insufferable witch when decaffeinated.) I knew I had applesauce in the freezer and had offered to make applesauce muffins, which he loves, and I had been asking him to hand me a phone so I could find a recipe. He wasn't paying attention though, reviewing fantasy baseball crap instead of letting me find a recipe, and being the incomparably sunny morning person that I am, I demanded the phone immediately if he wanted his applesauce mother [effing] muffins. Conveniently, he is charmed by my decaffeinated ways, chuckled, and cheekily googled "apple sauce mother f*ucking muffins," resulting in these: Mom's Applesauce Muffins. HAAAA.

The joke was on him, though, because the muffins? They were FANTASTIC. They are also really great out of the freezer, defrosted in the microwave.* Not the healthiest breakfast, but a great weekend treat. I stayed relatively close to the recipe, but made a couple of tweaks that were key for me, since raisins and cloves kind of gross me out. Here's what I did:

Applesauce Mother Effing Muffins

1/2 cup butter, softened
1 cup sugar
1 egg, beaten
3/4 cup applesauce, plus diced fresh apple to bring volume up to at least 1c

1 tsp vanilla
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 cups all-purpose flour

For the crumble topping:

1/2 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 cup quick-cooking oat, uncooked
1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
2 teaspoons cinnamon

1.) Cut 1 stick of butter into 2 cups of flour in a large mixing bowl until flour has a sandy texture.

2.) Add in the sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, baking soda, and salt, stirring to combine. 

3.) Add in the beaten egg, vanilla, and applesauce/apples.

4.) Mix to combine and scoop into a muffin pan sprayed with Pam. (I used an ice cream scoop with one of the little scraper bars -- so easy!) Makes 12 muffins.

5.) In a separate bowl, make the crumble topping. Cut the butter into the flour, sugar, cinnamon, then stir in the oats, mixing until it's all crumbly.

6.) Top each muffin with a generous amount of the crumble mixture. (The muffins are really well coated in the crumble, and I didn't come close to using all of the crumble mixture.)

7.) Bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes, and enjoy!

*I wrapped each muffin in plastic and stuck them in a freezer bag. To defrost, I unwrap and microwave for about 45 seconds. Yum.